Problem: Long lines at the ticket counter
Try this: Avoid the ticket counter entirely.

Don’t hesitate to call the airline with last-minute questions and always re-confirm your flights and itinerary before walking out the door. At the airport, use self-serve kiosks or curbside check-in. Or go online to print out a paper boarding pass at home or at your hotel. Some airlines now offer downloadable, paperless e-boarding passes for on-the-go folks with Internet-enabled mobile phones. Got bags? Baggage check-in can also be streamlined online.

Problem: Long security lines
Try this: Plan your approach.

Study airport maps to locate all security checkpoint locations or see the TSA’s checkpoint wait-time calculator. Depending on the time of day, a shorter, hassle-free line may be down the hall. Pack and dress for success. Wear easy-off, easy-on shoes. Make sure your laptop and your zippered, see-through bag of three-ounce toiletries are easily accessible. Before you get in line, put your flashy watch or jewelry, big-buckled belts, loose change, wallet and other small and/or valuable possessions in a bag that can be slipped into your carry-on.

Also, if your airport is one of the several that has self-select “Diamond Lanes,” use them. Even if you’re an “Expert Traveler,” don’t be shy about using the “Casual Traveler” or even “Families and Special Assistance” lane if it’s shorter, or if you just want to take your time.

Problem:  New baggage fees
Try this:  Check the calendar. Pack light. Check nothing.

Those new baggage fees go into effect on a staggered timetable, so you may be exempt (for now) if you bought your ticket a while ago or if you are — or are traveling with — someone with elite status on that airline. So check around.

Lighten up. do you really need to spend $30 or $50 to check a bag just so you can take along a few extra outfits and that third pair of shoes? And if you lighten up enough, you can get by with just a carry-on bag. But don’t overdo it. (See below).

Problem: No room for your carry-on
Try this: Pull out the tape measure and that soft-sided duffel bag. 

Measure your roll-around. On most airlines, a “legal” bag is no larger than 45 linear inches. What’s that? The total of the height, the width, and the depth of a bag. Metal sizing bins and “bag monitors” have (re)appeared at checkpoints, so don’t push the limits and risk getting kicked out of line and sent back to the check-in counter.

Increase your odds. Instead of one large carry-on, divvy up your stuff between an allowable “personal item” (purse, briefcase, or laptop-case) that can fit underneath the seat in front of you and a smaller, soft-sided bag that will be easy to store in the overhead bin alongside bulky hard-sided roll-around bags that are much more likely to get gate-checked.

Problem: No meal service on airplanes
Try this:  Explore your options and plan ahead.

Most airport Web sites list the locations of all food outlets, so go online and plot out where you’ll eat (if you have time) or where you’ll stop for a grab-n-go meal (if you don’t). Buy-on-board sandwiches are an increasingly acceptable, but not always available, option, so consider taking along a sandwich or some leftovers from home. And always pack snacks (nuts, energy bars, dried fruit, chocolate, packets of instant soup or oatmeal) just in case.

Problem: Chatty seatmates, rude recliners, kids kicking the back of your seat
Try this:  Look ‘em in the eye and state your case.

Some travelers enter a defensive travel bubble and forget that an airplane is still a public space. A polite “I’m sorry, but I’ve been looking forward to reading this book, would you be please raise your seat back up just a bit?” or “Young man, you probably don’t realize it, but when you kick that part of the seat you’re really kicking me!” is sometimes all it takes to re-establish your personal space. Other times, you may need to seek assistance from a flight attendant.

Problem: Long, stressful travel days
Try this: Get plenty of rest, pack a survival kit and write me in the morning.

Much of what happens at airports and on airplanes is out of your control, so build up your defenses and your ability to respond to who-knows-what by showing up well-rested and way ahead of flight time.

Your survival kit should include a fully charged cell phone, phone numbers for your airline, hotel and rental car agency, activities to keep you entertained (a book, portable movie or music player, a checkbook that needs balancing or some work that needs doing), a stash of snacks and some “mad money” to buy yourself a treat.

AARP Services Inc. and Unique Vacations Inc., the worldwide representative of Sandals Resorts and Beaches Resorts, have entered into a preferred provider relationship that now offers AARP’s more than 39 million members exclusive savings and benefits when they book a Sandals Resort or Beaches Resort Luxury Included Caribbean vacation. AARP members can take advantage of these benefits when they travel to any one of 12 Sandals Resorts or to any one of four Beaches Resorts located in Jamaica, Antigua, St. Lucia, the Bahamas and Turks & Caicos. Under the agreement, AARP members will now receive resort credits of up to $125 at Sandals or Beaches Resorts, special on property discounts and year-round specially created packages for AARP members like the Beaches Resorts’ Family Reunion Package valid for travel this fall.

 
AARP members who book a stay of seven nights or longer for travel through May 31, 2009 are entitled to receive: A $50 resort credit, per room, for Concierge Room bookings or a $125 resort credit, per room, for Butler Category Suite bookings. AARP members will also receive special, on-property benefits of 10 percent discounts on all purchases made at the resorts’ specialty shops, gift shops, exclusive Red Lane Spas and Snap Shots photography studios.

 
AARP members can also take advantage of a special Beaches Resorts’ Fall Family Reunion Package for family get-togethers at Beaches Negril Resort & Spa and Beaches, Boscobel Resort & Golf Club in Jamaica and Beaches Turks & Caicos Resort & Spa in Providenciales, Turks & Caicos. In addition to their regular discounts, AARP members booking five or more rooms for stays of three nights or longer can receive up to 40 percent off published rates (plus two nights free on stays of seven nights or longer) for arrival between Sept. 1 and Nov. 4.

 
The Beaches Resorts’ Fall Family Reunion Package includes: a private cocktail reception; a private dining experience featuring personalized menu, special family reunion activities; “Save the Date” Family Reunion postcards; complimentary portrait session at Snap Shots and one 5×7 family photo per room; private group family check-in; special welcome gifts for each participant and the complimentary services of Beaches Resorts’ Family Reunion Concierge, to help make the most of families’ stays and assist with details such as booking outside tours/excursions or spa treatments, arranging dining reservations and scheduling photo sessions

Airlines cracking down on carry-ons

Cheating the new baggage fee system won’t work — being smart will

If your next airplane seatmate seems unusually roly-poly, it may be because he stuffed his pockets with extra underwear and layered on several outfits in an effort to avoid paying to check his bag.

And why not? A few months back, most major airlines announced fees for checking a second bag. Then American Airlines announced that it would begin charging travelers for checking their first bag: as of Sunday, non-exempt passengers purchasing tickets on American Airlines must pay $15 each way for their first checked bag and $25 each way for their second checked bag. Not to be left behind in the “what else can we charge passengers for” race, United Airlines and US Airways last week announced similar policies. United’s new fees apply to tickets purchased beginning June 13th.  The first-bag fees on US Airways kick in July 9th.

Will other airlines follow suit? You bet.

Some folks will grumble about the new fees, pay them and chalk it up to these maddening, modern times.

What does this mean for air travelers?  Lighter wallets, heavier carry-on bags and plenty of headaches.

But plenty of folks are going to decide that, heck no, they’re not paying those extra baggage fees and will instead attempt to cram all they can into their carry-on bags. And because overhead bin space on planes is already at a premium, you just know there’s going to be trouble.

Now, more than ever, it’s a good time to brush up on your manners for packing and stowing your stuff.

Go toward the light: It may seem impossible, but, for many trips, traveling with just a small, easy-to-stow carry-on bag is a realistic option — especially if you embrace a packing system that includes mix-and-match outfits and choose clothing made of no-iron, wash-and-dry fabrics. And remember, out on the road, if you can keep spaghetti sauce and other tell-tale food stains off your clothing, no one needs to know you’ve worn the same outfit more than once.

Be cautious with your carry-on footprint:  As you make your way down the aisle, make sure your bags don’t smack into the shoulders and faces of unsuspecting passengers already seated. And don’t be a bin hog by taking up way too much space or by storing your bags over the seats of row nine if you are seated in row 39.

Crack-down on carry-ons:  Nearly every airline’s carry-on policy states that passengers are allowed to board with one personal item, (such as a purse or a laptop bag) and one bag that can be no larger than 45 linear inches, which is the total of the height, width and depth of the bag. Few travelers know if their carry-on bag actually meets the 45 linear-inches limit. Given the outrageously large bags we’ve all seen some folks trying to stuff into the overhead bins, fewer travelers seem to care.

But they’re going to have to. Travelers hoping to avoid the new checked-bag fees simply by taking oversized bags onboard could find themselves sent back to the check-in counter by airline employees monitoring bag sizes.

American Airlines is the first airline to acknowledge starting a carry-on crackdown. According to spokesperson Tim Wagner, American usually adds extra staff during summers. This season, some of those “high-season” employees have already been tasked with monitoring the size of carry-on bags at checkpoints. “We’d rather catch it there than have to deal with taking away bags at the gate or on the airplane,” Wagner said.

At airports where security checkpoints serve passengers of multiple airlines, heading off oversized bags seems complicated — if not impossible. But as Wagner points out, it will be a much easier task in airports such as Dallas-Fort Worth International, where the airline’s flights fill entire concourses and terminals. “The carry-on limit is no secret and customers need not try to skirt the rules.”

But what about the traveler who ends up having a carry-on bag gate-checked because there’s no room for the bag in any overhead bin? When the new fees are fully in place, Wagner says, passengers will be charged if their carry-on bag exceeds the legal size limit. If, however, the bag is in compliance, no charge will be levied. So don’t be surprised if tape measures and yardsticks soon become standard issue accessories for flight attendants and gate agents.

It’s not just American Airlines that will be clamping down on the size of carry-ons — others will follow. For example, while (as of last week) Alaska Airlines had no plans to impose fees for a first checked bag, on July 1st, the airline is joining most other airlines in imposing a $25 fee for a second checked bag. Alaska spokesperson Marianne Lindsey says the airline will be putting a “few things” in place to better monitor carry-ons. The airline is testing new, “more customer-friendly baggage sizers,” and in some cities will have employees at security checkpoints “keeping an eye out for people with extra large bags” and giving travelers the “opportunity” to go back to the ticket counter and pay for it.”

Ocho Rios, Jamaica – June 9, 2008 – The exclusive Royal Plantation Collection is proud to introduce Royal Plantation Journeys, a brand new, innovative set of sublimely luxurious and authentically Jamaican vacation packages, to be offered at Royal Plantation Ocho Rios, their magnificent flagship property.  Expressly designed to impart a true taste of the unique and captivating Jamaican spirit, mingled with the signature refinement and lavish touches, for which Royal Plantation is so well known, these Journeys guide guests on romantic, culinary, environmental and cultural explorations of this gorgeous island nation.

In creating the Royal Plantation Collection, Managing Director, Jaime Stewart, a native of Jamaica, was inspired by the rich culture, layered heritage, breathtaking natural beauty and artistic soul of her homeland to provide a vacation experience that seamlessly blends all of the multi-faceted elements of the Caribbean with the opulence and grandeur of the Old World, all in stunning tropical settings. For Stewart, the Royal Plantation Journeys represent the next step in the fusion of a Caribbean aesthetic with a tradition of regal refinement and genteel sophistication.

“These Journeys have been specifically crafted,” Stewart explains, “to give you a hands-on, one-on-one experience of the Caribbean. They let you actually taste, feel and immerse yourself in all that Royal Plantation and Jamaica have to offer.” Enjoy traditional British High Tea each afternoon on a terrace overlooking a spectacular backdrop of the sun-dappled turquoise sea. Sip chilled Veuve Clicquot champagne as you dig your toes into the warm, powdery, white sand of a pristine beach. Savor freshly rolled Jamaican cigars with a steaming demitasse of Blue Mountain coffee and a snifter of cognac, as you marvel at Jamaican fire breathers, beneath a star-filled, tropical night sky. To sample these Journeys is to revel in the unparalleled essence of Jamaica, in the inexpressibly elegant mode for which the Royal Plantation Collection has become so renowned.

CULINARY JOURNEYS

Dîner pour Deux

Tantalize your palate with a delectable feast, created especially for you by our chef de cuisine, and served, expertly and discreetly, by your own personal butler, underneath the bewitching Jamaican night sky. Dine by candlelight on succulent delicacies, perfectly paired with chilled champagne, and accompanied by softly lilting recorded music and the rhythmic melody of the ocean waves. Tempt your taste buds, as you breathe in the orange-blossom-scented air and gaze up at the stars, from your private table directly on the silky sand beach, amidst our lush gardens or on the edge of a pier jutting out over the Caribbean Sea, glinting silvery beneath a huge, tropical moon. ($265.00 per couple) 

Bon Vivant Cooking Classes

Learn to cook like a master from our renowned chef, when you take either a group class or a private session on a bright, Jamaican morning. Famed for their wealth of fresh herbs and exotic spices, the islands of the West Indies offer a treasure trove of healthy ingredients, which you’ll put to good use in the dishes you create. And, when you’re done, invite a special someone to come and sample the absolutely mouthwatering results of your culinary labors. ($75 per person)

Jamaican Flavors

With its roots based in African, European and even indigenous native Caribbean traditions, Jamaican cooking is as fiery, exciting, varied and beguiling as the island itself. Taste the entrancing flavors of this character-laden land for yourself, as you join us every Thursday for a real, authentic Jamaican lunch on our bougainvillea-clad terrace overlooking the lapis lazuli sea below. Dazzle all your senses with an eclectic spread that includes such timeless Jamaican specialties as goat consommé, pepperpot soup, spicy pumpkin bisque, curried goat, escoveitch fish, oxtail stew and jerked pork, as well as a selection of home-baked, old-time Jamaican pastries and sweets. (Complimentary for Royal Plan guests, $52 per person for EP guests)

Jamaica Farewell Massage 

Couples can bid adieu to the last rays of the tropical sun as it sinks slowly into the Caribbean Sea in a fiery blaze of fuchsia, gold and orange light, from your massage table’s front-row position directly on the white-sand beach or pier side, suspended out over the translucently shimmering water. Munch on luscious canapés and sip chilled Moët et Chandon champagne cocktails as expert hands smooth away all the cares from your muscles, and the perfumed Jamaican night envelopes you. ($435 per couple)

Moonlight Sonata Picnic

Imagine a sumptuous picnic laid out before you in the aromatic evening air, on our pearlescent, white-sand beach, magically illumined by the glow of the luminously shining island moon. Customize your menu to suit your mood; bring a healthy appetite; and sit back and surrender to the hypnotic ebb and flow of the tides, drawn by the pull of the moon.

·        Choose from three extravagant options:

§         Beach Picnic Party – includes house wines: $105 per couple

§         The Islander Picnic – includes sparkling wine: $145 per couple

§         Royal Highness Picnic – includes Champagne: $198 per couple

Picnic at Mahoe

Wander breathlessly through vivid tumbles of tropical blossoms in the Coyaba Gardens. Dip beneath the crystal-clear, cascading waters of gorgeous Mahoe Falls. And, once you’ve worked up quite a hunger, get ready for a true Royal Plantation treat. Enjoy a lavish picnic—exquisitely presented in our Burberry-branded picnic basket, complete with its Burberry tartan blanket and cutlery—either in a graceful gazebo overlooking the waterfalls or nestled snugly atop a rock outcropping, next to the pure waters of your own, natural lagoon pool. ($195 per couple)

Wine Cellar Tour and Tastings

Take a trip back through time as our sommelier guides you through our venerable wine cellar, which was originally built in the 1950’s when the legendary Plantation Inn was in its glamorous, star-studded heyday. Delight your palate with tastings of rare vintages, as well as up-and-coming labels, all selected from our vast storehouse of stellar bottles and presented to you with panache and flair by our resident sommelier. Novices and connoisseurs alike can arrange with the sommelier—for an extra cost—to have a wine and cheese soiree or private cellar dinner. 

Champagne on the Sea

Sail along the dramatic cliffs and sandy coves of Ocho Rios’ enchanting coastline, at first light or late afternoon, in your own private boat. Marvel at the play of shadow and color, as you sip effervescent bubbly and nibble on jumbo prawns. Watch the ocean waves ripple golden beneath the sun and gaze at the emerald Jamaican landscape, seemingly lit from within, as it slips by before your eyes. ($225 per couple and $175 per single person)

ARTISTIC JOURNEY

 Artist in Residence

Jamaica’s rich cultural heritage and stunning natural beauty have collaborated to create a thriving and widely respected local artistic community. World-renowned Jamaican artists have long exhibited their work to great acclaim and contributed greatly to the global art scene. Now, you too can share in the artistic wealth of this great nation, when you participate in one of our well-received artist in residence events. Paint alongside one of Jamaica’s prominent artists and learn age-old techniques, as well as the latest modern advances, to help you unleash your own inner virtuoso. ($40 per day)

IN-SUITE JOURNEYS 

Romantic Escapade

Surprise your beloved with an unforgettable evening that begins the moment you open your suite’s door and enter a room full of flickering candlelight, replete with a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries, a bottle of champagne chilling in a sweating silver bucket and a steaming bath, whose surface is literally covered with fragrant, dusky rose petals. The night is young and the possibilities are endless. ($255) 

Pampered Prince or Princess

Reward yourself royally with this elite indulgence, the ideal complement to a sultry Caribbean day or night. Delicately savor a cup of Earl Grey or sample a golden glass of Moët, as you sink sighing into a sublimely warm bath, scented seductively with rose petals and drawn to perfection by your own personal valet attendant. (Served with tea - $150 per couple) (Served with Moët champagne - $260 per couple) 

JAMAICAN SPA, GOLF & EXPLORATION JOURNEY 

The Spa Lover’s Treat

Pamper yourself with two spa treatments per couple and discover the amazing healing benefits and tranquility born of the Caribbean’s age-old herbal lore and myriad supply of fresh plants. Blue Mountain coffee, Ortanique (a local citrus fruit) and smooth, heated river stones—these are just some of the indigenous ingredients that make our Red Lane Spa treatments such a uniquely and heavenly Jamaican experience. Soothe your body, satiate your soul and awaken your heart with this divine package, which combines the rejuvenating power of our Red Lane Spa treatments with the intoxicating, romantic allure of our Jamaica Farewell Massage package. ($555)

Golfers’ Escape

Tee off on flawless jade fairways shimmering with dew in the early morning Jamaican sunshine. Work on your handicap, as you play two challenging rounds on the glorious Upton Golf and Country Club course, with its charming hillside location and its majestic vistas of the teal Caribbean Sea, sparkling in the distance.($610)

Love Royally Experience 

Immerse yourself in romance as you indulge in a delectably delicious champagne picnic—served on an authentic Burberry tartan blanket from a personalized hamper—in one of five luxuriant locations throughout our lush, bluff-side property, overflowing with richly hued blooms cascading down to meet our gemlike, twin beaches kissed by the crystalline, Caribbean Sea. ($410)

Jamaican Exploration  

Birthplace of Bob Marley and reggae music; land of soaring mountains, snaking green rivers and pearly, white-sand beaches; and home to a rich and fascinating culture and people—Jamaica has long enthralled visitors to her fair shores. Now, it’s your turn to delve into the mysteries, beauty and natural wonders of this enrapturing island. ($335) 

The Royal Treatment

Give yourself over to the expert ministrations and magical effects of our Red Lane Spa, featuring treatments culled from centuries of island wisdom, from local herbs and from the indigenous spirit of Caribbean healing and well-being. Dive into the very essence of Jamaica with an exciting excursion of your choice. Then, top your thrilling island-centric day off with our gastronomically pleasing Dinner pour Deux Journey. ($500)

COMPLIMENTARY JOURNEYS 

Help the Joyful Children of Mansfield Basic School

Unlock your inner philanthropist as you greet the smiling faces of the eager, 3- to 6-year-old kids at our local community basic school. Adopted by the Royal Plantation family, the Mansfield Basic School ably serves the needs of children from the nearby area. Come and experience the infectious, laughter, the avid expressions and the grateful looks of these Jamaican students and their dedicated teachers. Any donations of books, crayons and toys would be greatly appreciated. 

The Prince, Princess and the “P” Pillow Menu

Feel as if you’ve slept on clouds, when you partake of our complimentary pillow menu. Enfold yourself in ultimate luxury with our list of premier pillows, ranging from the buckwheat hull and snore-no-more versions to the down-filled and 5ft body contour models, all designed to give you the blissful, tropical rest you so richly deserve.

 On-Property Nature Tours

Meander through the sloping grounds of Royal Plantation’s Eden-like, tropical property, led by our Head Landscaper, as he introduces you to the exotic flora and fauna native to the Caribbean. Pick ripe fruit from burgeoning trees—in season only of course—and bite into spectacular mangos, naseberries, coconuts, guavas, June plums, passion fruit and sweet sop. Taste the flavors of Jamaica, as you drink in the vibrant shades and heady scents of this truly unspoiled tropical environment.

Jamaican Cigar Rolling

Not many people are actually aware of the fact that Jamaica has a cigar-producing tradition every bit as storied and illustrious as any other island in the region. Come and see for yourself, as expert cigar rollers demonstrate their craft for your pleasure, during our Friday night Martini Hour. Watch as deft hands cut the indigenous tobacco leaves and roll them into perfect cylinders. Try it yourself—roll your own perfect Jamaican Churchill. Then repair to our cigar room upstairs, where you can savor your own creation, along with a shot of Pimento dram or rum cream.

Afternoon Tea on the Terrace

A British colony for centuries, Jamaica still retains some of the more civilized practices from the times of Queen Victoria’s Empire. Ever since first opening its stylish doors in 1957, as Plantation Inn, Royal Plantation has offered a traditional English High Tea at 4:00 pm precisely, each day, on the terrace. Sip oolong from dainty cups and nibble delicate tea time favorites as you reflect on more genteel bygone days and glance out at the turquoise sea undulating majestically before you.

See yourself in this list anywhere?

1. People with ruined dreams
This is the person who has been dreaming of the most breathtaking African safari, or the most magical Disney vacation, or the most relaxing trip to the Caribbean for years. He’s got this perfect vision is his head of exactly how his entire trip, including his hotel experience, should be.

But we all know that fantasy and reality rarely meet. This person may complain because he has major problems. But he often complains about minor things that may not really matter, simply because he’s facing the reality that there is no such thing as a perfect vacation. If your dreams are ruined, stop and think: Is this problem really the hotel’s fault, or does the blame lie with Mother Nature/the airline/my husband? And even if it is the hotel’s fault, do you really want to spend valuable vacation time arguing with a front desk agent over a 25-cent local phone call?

2. Face-savers
A face-saver complains because he thinks acting irate will camouflage his shortcomings. This is the person who knows he only made his reservation for two nights but insists it was three, or who knows he left the “do not disturb” sign on his door but insists that the housekeepers have it in for him. A face-saver can often be identified by his low self-esteem and his belief that belittling other people makes him look good. He’s the one complaining really loudly so that everyone around him knows how clever he his and how stupid the hotel employee is.

If you’re a face-saver, shame on you. You need to cut it out right now. I’m not telling you not to complain when something is wrong. I’m just imploring you to be nice about it. Ruining a poorly-paid employee’s day does not make you a big man. It just ensures that said employee will talk about you in the break room using language that would make a sailor blush. And you’ll probably get a notation on your reservation about what a jerk you are, and that comment will follow you from hotel to hotel within a chain. That means no free upgrades for you!

3. Freebie-lovers
We all love a bargain. But complaining even when you know nothing’s wrong just so you can get a lower rate or a refund means you’re a cheat. Freebie-lovers have one motivation: saving money.

There was once a woman who found nasty trash in her room every time she came to the hotel — condoms, syringes, old food and other gross stuff. She always got an upgrade and some compensation for her trouble. After her fifth time checking into a dirty room, she asked to never come back. At that point, they knew she was planting these items so that she could get freebies. If you’re a freebie-lover, you may get caught. And even if you don’t, just think of the bad karma you’re collecting.

4. Wounded warriors
The wounded warrior once had everything going for him. But then his boss nixed his bonus, his wife stopped making his favorite meals, the economy tanked, he got a flat tire…you get the picture. The wounded warrior often complains because it’s the only way to regain control of his life. He becomes master of the situation, if only for a brief shining moment.

Wounded warriors may also complain because they feel forced to do so by someone else — they’re just too downtrodden to stand up and say “No, honey, I’m not going to call room service because you think that’s 2%, not fat-free, milk for your coffee.” If you think you’re a wounded warrior, then get fierce. Stand up for yourself. Take control of your life. That may mean complaining more often, but it may mean complaining less often.

5. Martyrs/passive-aggressives
Martyrs and passive-aggressives are the worst complainers because they don’t complain at all — at least not to the hotel. These are the people who have the worst stay ever, and yet never breathe a word about their numerous issues to hotel staff. Instead, they wait until they return home to tell everyone they know and the local news station about how horribly they were treated.

In fact, martyrs love to be mistreated, because it gives them something new to complain about. Life for them would be meaningless without drama. If you fall into this category, you’ll probably never admit it. But if you do, think about this: Do you want things to be made right, or do you just want to complain? If you want things right, you must complain to someone who can help you, i.e. a hotel employee. If you just like complaining, then you should really find a better hobby.

6. The loyal customers
The loyal customers complain because…well, they don’t really complain at all. Instead, they provide constructive criticism. They let managers know when things are wrong simply because they love a hotel or chain and they want to make sure it’s a nice place to stay for a long, long time. It’s like teaching your child good manners because you love him and want him to grow up to be a gentleman. This type of complainer is the one who becomes good friends with the staff members at various hotels and gets all kinds of perks when he comes to stay.

7. The truly injured
The truly injured guest complains for a valid, important reason. He does so calmly, rationally and politely. He understands that no one is perfect, and that mistakes happen. He does not place blame or pass judgement. He asks for appropriate compensation for his problems, and is never demanding. He is a rare breed.

Perhaps by recognizing YOUR main complaint will help you become a better complainer.  You’ll know what you want, why you want it, and you’ll hopefully be able to ask for what you want in the most effective way possible. 

So the next time you start to complain about anything, think about this highly-unscientific, never-tested-in-a-lab-setting categories here. Before you open your mouth, take a moment to ponder your motivations.

Are you about to make everyone around you cranky while solving nothing? Or are you about to turn an issue into a learning opportunity for everyone involved?